I have been a Bachelorhead aka a member of Bachelornation – since The Bachelor aired in 2002. Back then, I was single and looking for love and now I am married with children, at least at the time of this article’s publication.

It has been a long and fascinating journey, to say the least. What keeps me coming back to an over-produced reality television dating game show? I could say it’s because deep down I’m a true romantic. But the truth is I love watching other people awkwardly navigate intimate relationships in exotic locations while wearing formal wear.

And as an added bonus, after watching The Bachelorette for all these years, I’ve learned a few important financial lessons. It sounds crazy, but hear me out.

An expensive date doesn’t always equal romance.

Sure. Lots of the dates on The Bachelorette involve a private helicopter ride to an ancient castle. Or the couple takes a dunk in a magically-appearing hot tub in the middle of the woods, followed by a private concert performed by some B-level country star.

Don’t get me wrong. All of this fairy-tale stuff definitely helps the couple feel like they are falling in love. But more often than not, the best connections and truest romantic moments on the show happen when the couple is simply talking over dinner, cuddling by a fire, or having an impromptu picnic. I was comforted by the realization that the success of one’s love life isn’t dependent on the size of your wallet (or private helicopter).

Diversify your portfolio.

For fifteen years, the stars of The Bachelorette were Caucasian women and the cast was 99% Caucasian men. It wasn’t until Season 13 that The Bachelorette herself was a woman of color. Rachel Lindsay is incredible and the producers did a decent job of casting more diverse potential suitors than previous seasons – although they still have a long way to go. In my opinion, this diversification was the reason Season 13 of The Bachelorette was the most interesting.

My point? Just as a more diversified portfolio may improve your investment outcomes, a more diversified cast of suitors can increase chances of better watching. No one wants the portfolio equivalent of twenty-eight white guys named Chad.

The more options the better.

The Bachelorette’s journey towards engagement is shorter than most (3 weeks) but she has a much larger pool to choose from. This is actually a great example of how you should approach your financial journey.

Sit down with the financial equivalent of Chris Harrison and take a look at all of the investment opportunities that are possible. At first, it may seem overwhelming. But if you trust your gut, you will quickly realize some investment plans are actually super sketchy. Some make big promises but have hidden fees. Others may be judgemental of your goals. Some may even ghost you when they find out that you don’t have “enough” money to invest with them. Don’t feel bad. Just send them home in a limo.

“Take down your walls.”

Over a romantic dinner or an exciting bungee jump, we often hear these words on the show. I am always amazed at how much each contestant is expected to reveal on a three-hour horseback riding date. I am not even certain that my S.O. and I have had those kinds of conversations in 8 years of marriage. But alas, there are lessons to be learned from the likes of Ben Higgins. Don’t be afraid to face your financial fears. Best to attack them head-on as it is likely to lead to a more secure future. You may not end up with Lauren B, but you should feel better about having a plan.

Be there for the right reasons.

If you’ve watched the Bachelor, you must always question whether people are there for the right reasons. The same holds true when thinking about your investment strategy. After the final rose, are you looking for long-term stability (Tanner and Jade) and someone (or some cash) to enjoy retirement with?

Or are you just looking for some quick returns and an influx of Instagram followers and a ticket to Bachelor in Paradise? Don’t be a B player who has a short character arc. It’s exciting for a brief time, but being erratic (hello – Krystal) and trying to time the market isn’t a long-term strategy and may not end well. Consistency is key. Trust the process.

Play the long game.

At the start of the season, The Bachelorette will often meet one or two guys with whom she has a very strong connection. If she’s smart, after the couple solidifies how they feel about each other, The Bachelorette will put the guy on the backburner until later in the season. Instead of spending time with the sure thing on her precious one-on-one dates she uses the rest of her very limited time to get to know the other guys.

This is a great way to look at long-term investments. Don’t waste time obsessing over the performance of a  stock or fund that you know you’re going to want to hold on to for the long haul.

Add it to your portfolio, give it a rose, toss it in a group date and call it a day.

At Stash, you can create an investment portfolio that loves you for who you are.

The post The Money Lessons I Learned From Watching ‘The Bachelorette’ appeared first on Stash Learn.

Think of Belle from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast.

She’s a heroine because of her independent mind, her great work ethic, her intellectual curiosity, and her strong personality.

But she only really ends up rich and happy in a magical castle because she developed a codependent relationship with her weirdo kidnapper. Great lesson, right?

Women get dumb lessons about money

Countless popular books, films, and TV shows still carry the same basic message for women: Work hard, get an education, look flawlessly beautiful at all times, and a rich husband will find you and take care of the electric bill (or provide a dancing, talking candlestick to light your gigantic home).

But how realistic is that? Um, not very.

There were 110 million unmarried people in America age 18 and older in 2016, according to the most recent data from the U.S. Census Bureau. That accounted for 45.2% of all U.S. residents over the age of 18. And of that number, 53.2% were women.

So if you’re a single lady, you’re in good company. And chances are you’ve got to pay your own damn bills.

Women have to fight harder

It’s commonly accepted that boys should fend for themselves financially. It’s a sign of conventional contemporary masculinity to be “financially independent” as a man. We don’t always teach girls the same lesson. They may not know how hard they’ll have to fight for equal pay when they enter the workplace.

This is a big deal when many businesses certainly don’t value women’s work on par with men’s work. According to U.S. Census Bureau data, on average, an American woman earns 80.5 cents for every dollar a man earns. Women’s median annual earnings are $10,086 less than men’s.

The gulf grows much wider when we look at salaries for women of color versus white men. And while many women (and a few good male allies) advocate for change, we’ve also got to be extra invested in our own financial future.

Be your own Princess Charming

Now, I’m not saying you won’t marry a rich man (or extremely, fabulously wealthy person of any gender!) I’m just saying you shouldn’t depend on it.

Having your own income and savings will hopefully help you feel stronger, more confident, and less dependent when you do get into a serious relationship.

Maybe you aren’t making enchanted Disney prince (or princess) money, but you can start dealing with your actual financial reality right here and now, regardless of your dreams for the future or your regrets about the past.

All the single ladies (can achieve financial independence)

Here are a few easy tips that can help you get going on your badass single lady financial plan.

Open a retirement account and make regular contributions

The positive effect of compound interest is real and it’s powerful. You can set up a Roth or traditional IRA on your own—I did when I was a full-time freelancer.

But some companies provide a 401(k) and will match your contribution up to a certain dollar amount (usually 4%). Let’s say you get a regular paycheck, and you choose to contribute 10% of each paycheck to your 401(k), pre-tax. The company will match 4% of your contribution. They’re giving you free money! That’s great!

You won’t be able to tap into that fund until you hit a certain age, at least not unless you want to incur very high penalties, taxes, and fees. But it’s your superpowered future-cool-old-lady savings account. Have somebody in HR walk you through the different options, or use the online tools they’ll probably give you

And make sure that, in the unlikely event that you shuffle off this mortal coil early, your 401(k) is earmarked for a loved one.

Envision your ideal financial future

Here’s a set of questions to get your imagination going. We’re going to work backwards, which may feel a little odd, but will hopefully jog your brain in a good way.

1. Where do you hope to be at the very end of your days? Let’s imagine you are fortunate enough to have a long and healthy life. When you’re elderly, do you expect to want to live in the fanciest of eldercare facilities? Do you want to spend your final days in a home that you own? (In that case, you’ll likely need full-time in-home health aides at some point—keep contributing to that 401(k)!) I know this is a wild thing to consider, and it may seem unnecessary at your young age, but there’s no harm in imagining it for a moment.
2. Let’s look at your life when you’re retirement age—say, 65. You may very well live into your nineties or beyond, so retiring at 65 means you may have a few decades left to enjoy! Are you the type of person who loves to travel? You’ll probably still enjoy it at your advanced age, and have more time to do it. There’s no way of knowing if you’ll have kids or grandkids, but we can be fairly certain you won’t want to be a financial burden on them. The choices you make now can help ensure your independence in later age.
3. And now let’s envision your life ten years from now. Where do you hope to live then? Do you want to own a home? What would that home look like? Where might it be? Every time you start to think, “Well, I’m sure my husband can help share expenses,” stop yourself. You may very well be right! But since we’re thinking about single lady finances, reframe the question. “How can I put myself in the best position to be able to afford my happiest, healthiest lifestyle in ten years?”
4. Now let’s look at the next year. What are some things you might realistically be able to accomplish in the next year? Making a move to a town you truly love? Finding a better apartment in the city where you live? Adopting a dog and providing for its care? Maybe your goals are simply: “Paying every bill in full on time, and paying more than the minimum on my credit cards each month.” That’s great!

Check out your answers to the above questions. Walk away from them for a week and return to them. Edit and revise as necessary. Then maybe purchase a helpful book, or even seek out a certified financial planner (CFP), a person trained in the fine art of helping adults get their money right. Many CFPs deal with estate planning, investing, and more. They usually don’t get into the nitty-gritty of day-to-day budgeting.

Read a good book on personal finance

Or more than one good book! Try one of these: Suze Orman’s “Young, Fabulous and Broke;” Allen Carr’s “Get Out Of Debt Now”; Anna Newell Jones’s “The Spender’s Guide to Debt-Free Living”; or something that just happens to appeal to you in the bookstore. Set aside, donate, or sell the books that don’t jibe with your sensibility. Read and re-read the ones that do!

It took me until my mid-thirties to start getting on top of this, but whether you’re younger or older, it’s the right time to begin!

So don’t avoid looking at reality like I did for many years—start taking small, sensible steps now to save and provide for your own health and happiness.

The post How to Be a (Financially Independent) Single Woman appeared first on Stash Learn.

The online dating business

The world of online dating and mobile dating apps is expansive and diverse. There are sites and apps, for example, designed and targeted at singles who strictly want to date others that share their religious beliefs (Christian Mingle, Jdate), their occupations (FarmersOnly), or ethnic background (BlackPeopleMeet).

There are even platforms out there for people who are already in a relationship and looking for some side action (Ashley Madison) or no-strings-attached fun.

In all, as much as 40% of Americans use these platforms—though not everyone uses it strictly hoping to make a connection. Some people report using them out of boredom, or plain old curiosity.

And while the world of online dating may seem like a young man’s (and woman’s) game, it’s being embraced by people of all ages, according to data from Pew Research Center.

There are dozens of platforms out there, too. Some involve users swiping their finger across a screen to signify their approval of potential matches. Others use intricate algorithms to create a list of potential matches. And others have users fill out questionnaires and surveys to create match profiles.

But there are a few clear favorites among the U.S. consumer base, with Tinder leading the way, according to consumer survey data.

Turning swipes into dollars

Need proof that love is a lucrative industry? Just look at Valentine’s Day as an example. In 2018, U.S. consumers spent nearly $20 billion on candy, flowers, and other Valentine’s Day gifts for their significant others, according to industry data. And the average date night—including dinner and drinks for two, plus a couple of movie tickets—costs $102.32, according to survey data conducted by Match.com

How much it costs to take someone out, however, can vary wildly depending on where you live.

With so much cash up for grabs, it’s no wonder that entire industries have formed in order to help people connect. Romantic dinners, romantic comedies, Whitman’s samplers, and even online dating profiles—they’re all designed to be purchased, in droves, by the lovestruck.

Getting people to sign up and use a digital dating platform isn’t all that tricky. People need to eat, sleep, and almost all of them are going to seek out a mate at some point—mobile apps and websites make the process easier.

For that reason, digital dating platforms—though they had a sense of social stigma, that they have since shed—are incredibly popular. And profitable.

Tinder, for example, drove $400 million in revenue in 2017 to lead the industry. And one of its chief competitors, Bumble, has seen downloads grow 570% over the past two years, according to reports.

While revenue and growth like that sound extraordinary, it may not last, especially if more companies continue to crowd into the sector. The industry also faces significant risks from tech companies with deep pockets, such as Facebook, which is developing its own dating app. And like any other industry, user growth may slow as it reaches maturity.

Love letters and dollar signs

Just how big is the online dating industry? It’s hard to say for certain.

That’s partly because it’s hard to get a sense of exactly how many people are using online dating platforms because there are several on the market, many of which don’t release data about their user counts.

But we do have some snippets of data.

For example, one dating app, Badoo, boasts a user count of 370 million worldwide. Bumble has roughly 30 million users, and Tinder has more than 50 million.

But not only are there tens, and in some cases, hundreds of millions of people using digital dating platforms, but these users are also very engaged. The average user can spend up to 90 minutes per day swiping, scrolling, and sending messages, according to industry data.

That all translates into revenue for the companies that run the platforms. Overall, the dating services and digital connection industry is a roughly $3 billion market and is expected to grow around 5% annually over the next two years.

Clipping Cupid’s wings?

Though the online dating business is becoming more established, that doesn’t mean that the dominant industry players—Tinder, Match, eHarmony, etc—are in the clear. Other large companies are starting to take notice, and elbow their way into the space.

Social media behemoth Facebook, for example, announced that it would add a dating feature to its platform in August. While we don’t know how many users Facebook’s feature will ultimately attract, if it proves successful, other social media companies will likely follow suit.

So, the possibility exists that an outsider with substantial resources, like Facebook, could come in and shake up the entire market.

But there are also internal battles that could alter the growth and direction of the industry.

Bumble and Tinder are in a legal battle, for example, over profile-swiping features. And there are security concerns, too. A few years ago, a large-scale data breach involving cheating site Ashley Madison rocked the industry.

Love, actually…

Though the industry still has some kinks to work out, it’s hard to think that online dating will become less appealing with time. While online dating is still uncomfortable and unorthodox for some, younger generations aren’t just embracing it, they’re native to it.

Issues related to data security and competition aren’t likely to go away any time soon, however. And just because there’ll likely always be a market for digital matchmakers, doesn’t mean that the revenues are going to come easy.

With that said, there’s probably always going to be a buck to make by kindling relationships.

You can invest in the companies helping people connect on Stash.

The post Snap, Swipe, and Chill: The Business of Online Dating appeared first on Stash Learn.

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Money and love compatibility? It’s a real thing.

We all worry about when to have the “money talk” in a relationship. Here’s the thing, you should consider having little money talks all the time.

And while the thought of talking about credit scores and savings strategies on a first date may make you want to call for the check and run for the door, you can start picking up context clues very early in a relationship. These clues can give you an idea of whether or not you might be have that financially compatibility with someone.

After all, money changes everything, especially love. Who makes more money? Who pays the cable bill? To have or not having a big wedding or put money toward expensive vacations?

We all enter relationships with some financial baggage, real or emotional. How you handle it as a team can really make a difference in making love last.

Everyone has their own financial style and it can help to find someone who matches (or compliments) yours.

On this week’s episode of Teach Me How To Money, Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping by and Get Your Financial Life Together, talks bills, debt, engagement rings, and more.

The post Podcast: About Money and Love Compatibility with Erin Lowry appeared first on Stash Learn.

But what if you want to retain a semblance of freedom and financial independence?

Financial independence

What does it mean to be financially independent?

Generally, it means that you control your own financial destiny. Those who are financially independent view money as a tool, rather than a ball-and-chain. In a much more general sense, it means that you have the money you need to cover your expenses, and are financially secure.

And the term “financial independence” can apply to households, families, or couples as well as individuals.

Talking finances in a relationship

The intersection between money and relationships is one of the most complicated things couples have to negotiate. More than one-third of couples argue about money on a monthly basis, and 13% keep financial secrets from their partners, according to industry data. And there are more than enough horror stories out there that should have you itching to talk things over before mixing your money

Generally, though, advice for couples about finances boils down to a few points.

Your cheat sheet for “the money talk”:

• Have an honest conversation—Discuss how much you earn, your investments, and your debts. Get an idea of what type of relationship your partner has with money, and if it’s compatible with your own. Differences don’t need to be a dealbreaker, but you should be honest with each other about your finances.
• Are you a saver or a spender?—Talk about your money habits and financial philosophy. Does your partner have a budget, or even know what a budget is? Feel things out, and iron out any concerns that may come up.
• Agree on expenses—Work out a fair budget in which you’re both contributing.  Often one person will earn more than another. If that’s the case, talk about who should pay for what, or what type of spending balance you want to strike.
• Watch out for red flags—If you notice a change in your partner’s behavior or attitude when it comes to money, say something. It’s better to hash it out early than to let an issue turn into a bigger problem.

Striking a balance

Though you’re going to combine aspects your finances, a relationship doesn’t mean you need to completely abandon your financial independence. How much of a balance you strike, of course, is up to you.

Because money can be such a contentious topic, many couples find it easier to simply keep their finances separate. It helps avoid arguments, for one, and allows for more control over how and when you’re spending.

In fact, younger adults are more interested in keeping their finances separate than previous generations. Even so, more than three-quarters of couples have at least one shared bank account, according to industry data.

A joint checking account is generally a good idea, as it can be useful to pool money to cover shared expenses, like rent and groceries. A joint savings account can also help you save for common goals, such as creating an emergency fund and a putting money away for a down payment on a house.

If you are thinking about starting a family at some point, that, too, is going to be a big shared expense—and something you can start preparing for early.

Whatever balance you strike, make sure you’re comfortable with it—and maintain an open dialogue.

Most couples bank together. Why not invest together, too? With Stash, all it takes is $5 to get started.

The post How to Declare Financial Independence in a Relationship appeared first on Stash Learn.

Amazon is hoping to create a Black Friday-level retail event, out of thin air, holding it during the middle of the summer—months away from the traditional holiday shopping season. Many people’s excitement around the new shopping holiday appears to be so great, that competing retailers such as Walmart and Target, are jumping into the fray with similar flash sales of their own in order to capitalize on the buying frenzy.

What is Amazon Prime Day?

Prime Day is similar to a Black Friday sale in July. Amazon has sales and specials on hundreds, if not thousands of products, with new deals going live every few minutes.

Some Prime Day 2018 details:

• Industry analysts forecast that Amazon will pull in $3.4 billion in sales during Prime Day 2018 (approximately three times higher than last year).
• This year, Prime Day deals will be available for 36 hours—the biggest shopping window so far. (It was 30 hours in 2017, and 24 hours in 2016.)
• Three-quarters of online shoppers are aware of Prime Day, according to industry reports, potentially demonstrating the power of Amazon’s marketing efforts.

Nudged by Amazon’s success, more than half-a-dozen traditional retailers are following suit with their own online flash sales:

• Best Buy – “Big Deals Days” sale took place July 16 and 17.
• Target – The big-box retailer had its “One-Day Sale” on July 17.
• Nordstrom – The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale runs from July 20 until August 5.
• Macy’s – “Black Friday in July” ran through July 17.
• Kohl’s – “It’s a Big Deal” sale was on July 10 this year.
• Walmart – “Ultimate Summer Specials” were the week of July 16.

Walmart is one of the only retailers that has managed to go punch-for-punch with Amazon so far. Walmart purchased Jet.com to increase its online presence and has rolled out free two-day shipping in response to Amazon Prime’s membership perks.

While Walmart hasn’t quite caught up, it is making headway. During the last holiday shopping season, for example, online sales were up 10%. The company’s hoping to swing some of that momentum into the new summer sale season.

Why is the retail industry so competitive?

Generally speaking, however, the traditional retail industry has been under a lot of pressure, with numerous bankruptcies and store closures from name brands including Toys R Us, Radioshack, and Payless.

E-commerce shopping sales, on the other hand, is expected to grow by more than 40% to about $500 billion by 2020, according to research firm Forrester. So it’s a big growth opportunity, according to experts.

More background

Prime Day started in 2015 as a part of Amazon’s 20th anniversary.

Amazon share price is up roughly 280% over the past few years, according to reports, while the S&P 500 is up 31% over that same stretch. While the market at large has posted large gains, Amazon’s charge is atypical, especially in the retail industry, which has gone through a tough transition over the past decade. While Amazon has been growing fast, it’s likely that it’ll slow down, or at least hit some speed bumps in the near future.

Some issues that could arise are a slowdown in Prime membership growth, and underperformance in new markets, like India.

Meanwhile, the company’s surging share price has also helped Jeff Bezos’s fortune grow to more than $150 billion—making him the richest person in modern history.

Do you want to get in on the action? You can invest in retail companies, starting with only $5, on Stash.

The post Prime Day: How Rival Retailers Are Countering Amazon’s Big Summer Sale appeared first on Stash Learn.

I told him there is a special place in the DMV line for people like him.

But I did understand where he was coming from. Being a wedding guest is incredibly expensive, and I know what it’s like to be tight on resources. Still, there’s a gracious way to be a broke guest.

Here’s how:

Nifty (but thrifty) gift ideas

Volunteer your services:  Months in advance, explain to the bride and groom that you’re short on cash, but you’d love to help them with the wedding. Don’t just offer “to help out,” name something specific! Offer to be the designated wedding Instagrammer, set up the night-before-the-wedding BBQ, or plan the after party. Or, if you have a talent, offer to design the invitations, create the wedding website, or even DJ the event. Using your skills to help make the wedding great is better than a crockpot any day.

A gift from the heart: If volunteering your services sounds like a waking nightmare, consider writing the bride and groom a heartfelt letter and pairing it with a photo you took of them in a nice frame. Again, this requires some planning ahead (you have to take that photo, after all), but it’s a lovely gesture that any bride and groom would appreciate, especially if they’re aware of your financial situation.

Go in on a bigger ticket item: Chances are, you’re not the only broke person invited to this wedding. Set a personal dollar limit (even if it’s just $15 or $20) and ask around to see if friends would be willing to go in on a bigger item with you. That way, you’ll be able to contribute something substantial while keeping costs down.

Grab a modest gift certificate: to a store they’ll need to visit (Target, Home Depot, somewhere they’re registered) and pair it with a card explaining that you’d love to give more, but you’re not in a good financial position to spend, and you sincerely wish them the best and love them. Making some sort of gesture is better than doing absolutely nothing.

Wait until you’ve got the money. Luckily, conventional wisdom says you have up to a year after the wedding to give a gift, so you can still have time to do something from the heart—you’ll just have to foot shipping costs.

Most importantly: Don’t just ignore the gift-giving part of a wedding. The bride and groom WILL notice and it WILL be awkward.

Traveling light (on your wallet)

Get that miles credit card: Last year, I switched over to using a credit card that amasses sky miles, and it was totally worth the minor hassle. I’ve traveled almost exclusively on “free” air miles since the switch. Attending a wedding is a much easier financial pill to swallow when you’re using air miles to cover airfare. (Just don’t forget to pay down that credit card!)

GasBuddy: If you’re driving, get the app called GasBuddy, which tells you where to find the cheapest gas in your vicinity. And the app is free!

Airbnb: This one is sort of a no-brainer, but renting a room in someone’s house is way cheaper than getting a hotel. Or, go in on an entire place with friends. Just remember to blow up the air mattress BEFORE you go to the open bar. (I speak from experience.)

Dress to impress (your budget)

Borrow the clothes: If you don’t have a suit, tux, or fancy dress, put out a call to your friends on social media to lend you one. Big expense saved right there—as long as you manage not to spill red wine all of over it.

Put it on that miles card: If you’re IN the wedding and have no choice but to drop a giant wad of cash on your tux rental or bridesmaids dress purchase, at least put it on the credit card that will fly you to the wedding for free.

Sell that Sucker!: If you’ve purchased your wedding outfit and know you won’t re-wear, sell it immediately, while it’s still wedding season! Ebay or the app Poshmark are the ways to go online or take it to your nearest consignment shop, like Buffalo Exchange.

And, of course, don’t forget to take advantage of all the free food.

To the bride and groom! And to you, for being such a considerate, thrifty guest.

The post How to Be a Classy, Broke Wedding Guest appeared first on Stash Learn.

Here are just a few.

Start saving early – you’re going to need it

It’s a good idea to open an investment account as soon as you can and contribute a little bit to it from each paycheck. Compound interest is a beautiful thing, my babies. I haven’t contributed as much as I wish I had over the years, but I started saving for retirement when I was 28. I’ve skipped some years, so I’m way behind where I’d like to be right now. Don’t do that, okay? Get in the habit and keep contributing.

Your credit card is not your friend

A credit card is not your every day, every month or every year friend. It is not your friend at all. It is a powerful resource that carries benefits and drawbacks. Take it from somebody who got herself into tens of thousands of credit card debt–twice.

That said, a credit card can be a valuable emergency resource, in case your car battery dies and you accidentally left your debit card at home; you get sick and can’t cover the copay for your insurance because you have to pay for the rent, phone, car insurance, wifi, food, pet food, and other necessities.

I recommend getting a credit card with a small credit limit and a low APR. Pay it off on time in full every month. When they send you that congratulatory letter saying they’ve raised your credit limit, I recommend ignoring it.

Make a budget, baby

For years, I didn’t budget for my freelance income because it all seemed so overwhelming with so many moving pieces. I didn’t even sit down and make an actual budget until I was 35. Before that, I just engaged in the magical thinking of “well, I’ll just cover dinner for all my friends this week because I know I’ve got a big check coming and they’re all struggling.” Underneath that thought was a sadder one “…and if I treat them, they’ll like me more.”

Then when the big check was three months late, because that’s what happens when you’re a freelancer, I was screwed. Cue the cash advance on the credit card to pay the rent. I’d feel stressed, so I’d “treat” myself to delivery sushi because I deserved it, right? I was working hard, trying to keep track of five assignments for as many different companies while trying to write my next book and pitch TV shows and do college lecture gigs and stand-up gigs and…

In short, make a budget.

For most of us, there is no longer a predictable career path

Some of us have watched our older siblings and cousins struggle to create the life that seemed entirely achievable to many people in our parents’ and grandparents’ generations: Go to college or a vocational training school, purchase a home, send children to college, retire at 65 and survive on savings from a job that lasted one’s entire adult life–-plus some help from Social Security and Medicare.

What is more likely than either of these options is that you will have a series of jobs in your chosen field; that you will at some point refine your goals and either change careers or choose to specialize in an area of your field with which you aren’t yet entirely familiar; that you will be laid off (or even fired) more than once. You’ll need to be flexible as technologies and best practices change.

Your career will be different than your grandparents (or parents)

You will deal with stresses and issues that may not have come up thirty years ago for Mom and Dad, or sixty years ago for Papa and Abuelita. Maybe Nonna stayed at home and raised six kids on Grandpa’s salary from the factory. Maybe Oma and Opa ran the best schnitzel joint in five counties and retired happily to an assisted living village with a full-time care facility once they grew infirm. Maybe Gram raised three kids on her own on a salary from her forty-year career at the post office and while money was tight, she still managed to sock away enough to give you $5 every time you saw her.

However they did it, they did it. And you’ll do it too—but in your own way, a way that may include several jobs over many years. My advice is to look at each job as an opportunity to build new skills. Love it or hate it or just feel “meh” about it, every gig is a chance to get paid to learn something new.

Most of us won’t have a spouse who pays for everything

If we marry, most of us won’t marry somebody with sufficient resources to cover all our expenses. I know older folks in marriages where the husband worked outside the home or ran a business from home while the wife did the 24-7 job of childcare, cooking, cleaning, paying the bills, and of course the incalculable task of performing emotional labor for everyone in the family.

There is a mental health benefit associated with contributing to household finances. I believe it is important for all capable and healthy adults to have their own means of earning money. Because we all know there’s no guarantee a marriage will last forever.

You must financially educate yourself

You may have parents or teachers who sat you down and broke down the basics of the stock market, or who taught you the difference between a Roth IRA and a Traditional IRA. That’s great–you’re lucky.

But even if you had that, you still must educate yourself about finances.

You will take greater ownership of this learning if you engage in it of your own volition. You can learn an awesome amount from debt reduction books even if you’re not a compulsive debtor or spender. My favorite books? “Get Out Of Debt Now–The Easy Way” by Allen Carr; “Money Drunk/Money Sober: 90 Days To Financial Freedom” by Mark Bryan and Julia Cameron; and “Young Fabulous and Broke” by Suze Orman.

Now go out there and be a money adult, you wonderful young adult!

The post What I Wish I Knew About Money After Graduation appeared first on Stash Learn.

Margareta Magnusson, author of “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning,” claims to be somewhere between the ages of 80 and 100. She’s not a financial advisor, but her housekeeping philosophy has actually had a bigger impact on my financial choices than a lot of money experts have. And I’ve listened to my share of money experts.

When I was younger, Suze Orman’s “Young, Fabulous and Broke” taught me how credit works and what the hell a FICO score is. I continue to appreciate and benefit from  materials from Debtors Anonymous as well as Allen Carr’s “Get Out Of Debt Now.” (I recommend the audiobook, if only to hear him politely bark common sense at you in a fun English accent.)

But it is Magnusson’s book that got to the heart of my own problem with overspending.

I’ve always been bad with money, but it wasn’t until three years ago that I began to realize I had an actual problem.

Reading up on making change

Books have always helped me get through life’s cascade of challenges.

“The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg taught me to build and maintain both a meditation practice and a better nutrition plan. Howard Halpern’s (admittedly dated) “How To Break Your Addiction To A Person” helped me to stop engaging in inappropriate “friendships” that crossed boundaries.

For me, the last few years have been full of personal change. I moved to and from (and back to) California, ended a long-term relationship, re-evaluated my friendships, and got my physical, mental and financial health in better shape. In addition to writing four books, learning to cook, and working through my aforementioned problematic friendships, I also found a day job I genuinely enjoyed.  

I made contributions to my retirement funds; and I got into, out of, and back into credit card debt.

At the same time, I also admitted to myself, my family and friends that I had a problem with debt, and started to do some things about it.

But I didn’t choose Magnusson’s book because of my debt issues. This totally metal-sounding Goth death manifesto seemed like just the thing to jumpstart the reorganization of my living and working space. I downloaded the audiobook, narrated by the British stage and screen actress Juliet Stevenson.

Magnusson’s overall objective is to encourage people to get rid of excess possessions in order to make things easier on their relatives and friends when they pass away.  People who know me know that I’m not afraid to tackle “morbid” things. I’m in the process of finalizing my will, and I’m finding it rather enjoyable.

But her ideas  about how living in a well-organized space with fewer objects can make one feel more relaxed and peaceful really resonated with me in a way that turned my attention not to my own death, but to my own life.

Our stuff keeps us from moving forward

Believe it or not, there are a lot of studies out there about clutter.

One that particularly fascinated me: Researchers at the Center for Everyday Lives of Families (CELF) at UCLA spent four years engaged in an ethnoarchaeological study of the lives of several Los Angeles-area families — and their massive amounts of stuff

“For more than 40,000 years intellectually modern humans have peopled the planet,” the study authors wrote. “But never before has any society accumulated so many personal possessions.”

The researchers found that its subjects found it difficult to sort organize, and manage all their objects, souvenirs, papers, books, CDs, DVDs and all the things that add up and spread out over our homes.

“Our excess becomes a visible sign of unaccomplished work,” wrote study’s co-authors, Anthony P. Graesch. “[It] constantly challenges our deeply ingrained notions of tidy homes and elicits substantial stress.”

Magnusson has good ideas for how to get rid of clutter. She recommends giving things away to family and friends and taking time to enjoy how much lovelier and calmer life is once you’ve cleared out that terrible closet.

But one of her main points is not to leave an undue burden of excess stuff on other people after you die and take responsibility for your possessions and your space. I hit pause on the audiobook, and took a deep breath. That’s when it all started to click for me.

This wasn’t just about organizing one’s physical space. This was about not creating a mess of any kind and expecting others to clean it up.

And this brought me to consider my finances. It turned out my money issues were all mixed up with my clutter problems.

Why collecting stuff can make us feel good – for a while

I believe that we can understand the causes of and influences on a particular negative behavior without excusing said behavior.  So rather than continuing to criticize my clutter habit without doing a damn thing about it, I began to consider it in the context of my personal psychological history.

I came to understand why I turned to overspending as a method of self-soothing. For one thing, it was modeled for me by some of the adults around me when I grew up. For another, when I was an adolescent, I dealt with an ever-increasing case of agoraphobia that eventually led me to drop out of college.

It has been pretty well in check for many years, but it rears its head when I’m particularly stressed. I’ve experienced occasional suicidal depression since my teen years but I’ve always been been dutiful about seeing a therapist, maintaining a proper schedule of sleeping and waking, and eating reasonably well during those rougher times.

That said,  there are plenty of other unhealthy methods of diversion or comfort available to me when I’m feeling particularly low. And over the years I’ve used the Internet, food, sex, and more to keep myself distracted in order to avoid what’s really going on.

In my experience, overspending is the most insidious method of briefly numbing the pain. It doesn’t leave you with a hangover or pose much of a physical health risk, at least until your pile of unnecessary cat sweatshirts falls on you and smothers you. (Note: I only have one unnecessary cat sweatshirt. The other one is very necessary.)

Overspending can also be fun and can grant you the delusion that people really like you. Well, of course they do, if you’re covering the tab for a fancy restaurant meal or taking everyone to the movies twice a month.

Our clutter can be a reflection of the lives we want

I looked around in my two-room studio apartment at all the things I’d purchased and left in the delivery boxes: the two sets of fancy headphones; the big selfie light perfect for those goofy vlogs I’d never actually shot; the microphone for the podcast I had yet to begin producing; the novels I knew I’d love if only I could muster the enthusiasm to actually read them.

Then there was the container garden starter kit, never started, still in its own big container (an unsightly Amazon box.)

There were other things, too, all tied in some way to an unfulfilled idea of some activity bound to bring joy to my life. It was not difficult to see that my self-soothing habit of buying things online led rather swiftly to an experience that was anything but soothing: a cluttered home.

Oh, and the little manner of more debt.

Cleaning house takes time

I had for some months been tracking everything I spent on a spreadsheet. Now, I decided that I would commit to only using cash, checks, or my debit card. This would both put a halt to new expenditures on my credit card and put a check on my inclination to make an impulse buy with “imaginary money.”

Further, I would not purchase any new object for my home beyond the necessary supplies like food and toiletries. I would of course continue to pay my rent and utility bills, as well as the very helpful luxury of a housecleaner once a month.

And during this two-month period, I would bring some giveaway objects to my car with me every single time I left the house. Once my trunk was full, I would go to a local nonprofit thrift store and donate the items. Along the way, I’d also continue throwing out and recycling items I no longer needed.  Then the cycle would begin anew.

I liked Magnusson’s suggestion that I offer some items to family and friends who might find them useful or lovely – not to guilt them into taking away some of my garbage, but as a pleasant transaction. They get something new and cool, I get more space in my home.

In this way, I could combine my desire to spend less with my desire to declutter my home.

Death cleaning = more space to live

I’m pleased to report that it’s working quite nicely. I’ve grown to enjoy the sight of my own hardwood floors again. I have more room to stretch out in the corner of the kitchen where I work. I take great pleasure in looking at my bookshelf and seeing that it isn’t full. And I have more money to pay down debt and take care of medical necessities.

My home isn’t nearly as decluttered as it will be in a couple more months, and I’m not magically out of debt. But that’s the thing about changing your life – it isn’t magic. It’s work, real work, and when you start showing up for yourself and the folks around you, taking the small steps to be healthier and kinder and happier, the changes happen.    

The post How I Swedish ‘Death Cleaned’ My Way To Better Finances appeared first on Stash Learn.

With this in mind, I let the height fib slide, and we continued seeing each other. After all, I didn’t mind dating a guy who was an inch shorter than me. And I liked that Trevor had a career as a web coder.

I’d been accustomed to dating broke guys who thought a 401K was some sort of dental implant, and it was such a relief to finally find someone who had a salaried, grown up job, like I did at the time.

And so it was a surprise, but not a complete shock, when Trevor said he’d made us a reservation at one of the most expensive restaurants in the city. I figured it was a romantic gesture—a sign we were getting more serious.

“Little lies now,” I thought. “Bigger lies later.”

Dinner was fantastic. After the waiter took our empty plates, I excused myself to the restroom, which was bigger and cleaner than my entire apartment. When I returned to the table, the waiter came by with the check and said, “I put the entire bill on the [gift] certificate. Is that what you wanted?”

Trevor turned bright red, slammed the check down and scribbled what was probably a very bad tip. He took my hand we hustled out.

“What just happened?” I asked.

He looked back at the restaurant. “Why did that waiter blow my cover?”

I was still utterly confused. But my confusion turned to disgust when I realized that he wanted me to think he was spending his own money when it was really a gift certificate from his wealthy parents.

The gift certificate itself didn’t bother me. I’ve used coupons for items under $3. I have no shame. But what stuck in my craw over the days that followed was that Trevor had intended to hide something from me.

I never fully trusted Trevor after the night of the gift certificate. I realized that for Trevor, image was more important than financial honesty. That fact made my stomach turn, and we broke up shortly after.  

You may think I’m nuts for making such a big deal out of a dinner, but before Trevor, it had never occurred to me that people might not be honest about their finances. But it happens all the time.

Big debts, big secrets

And if I thought lying about a gift certificate was bad, I wasn’t prepared for the many people who keep mountains of debt from their partners. A recent study by Student Loan Hero revealed that, among people with more than $6,000 in credit card debt, 32% of of them lie about it to their partners.

Why lie?

Among those who’ve lied, 59% said shame or embarrassment played a role. More than a third said they kept their secret so their partner wouldn’t nag them, 30% didn’t want to start an argument, 28%  feared it’d be a deal-breaker, and 20% reported that they were, at least in part, in denial about their debt. (Note: Respondents were allowed to select more than one reason for lying.)

Denial played a part with Matt Storrs, a lawyer in Queens, who didn’t tell his ex-wife about his mounting credit card debt because he thought a tax refund would negate it. When the refund didn’t cover the secret $5,000 debt, he came clean, and his then-wife was hurt.

“I felt destroyed by how it made her feel. Our relationship’s foundation had a lot of cracks, but this experience was the major rift that splintered those cracks,” Matt said. “Our trust crumbled.”

Be honest with each other

Ben Luthi, the lead researcher for the Student Loan Hero study echoed the sentiment that when you lie about money, you violate a fundamental trust in your relationship.

“As a couple, whether or not your finances are separate or together, there’s still a ‘we’re in this together’ type thing,” he said.

Luthi says one way to avoid the trap of getting into secret debt is to set financial goals with your partner. If you’re both working toward the same goal—buying a house, for example—you’re less likely to go over your personal budget.

“The biggest thing is to communicate,” Luthi said. “Sometimes you’ll do anything to avoid an argument because those are unpleasant, [but]in my experience … it ends up not being as bad as you think.”

The post Lying About Money: When in Debt, Tell The Truth appeared first on Stash Learn.

So strap in for tales of love and money gone horribly wrong… if you dare!

The Bad Tenant

Steve Robb was 23-year-old marine corporal with a wife and 2-year-old son who had just returned home from a 6-month deployment when the couple decided to buy a mobile home of their own.

“It was a very nice mobile home,” he said. “My guy told me not to, but she earnestly wanted it. She eventually wore me down and I gave in and made the purchase. It was moved to a rural trailer park close to work, and life for awhile was bliss.”

The young family lived in the mobile home in Jacksonville, North Carolina for about a year before Robb was promoted to sergeant and received orders for a three-year tour as a Marine recruiter. He opted for a recruiting station in Oklahoma and they decided to rent out the trailer during his tour.

“We rented it to some acquaintances, without the aid of a realtor or management agency. All worked well for about a 18 months then the rent checks started coming irregularly. Eventually they stopped coming all together. The tenants didn’t move out, they just stopped paying rent,” he said.

Robb said he continually tried to call the tenants but they eventually quit answering his calls.

“I did not want to lose my house with only 12 months to go until I returned,” he said. “So we tightened the belt and scraped by so I could make the house payment, in addition to our current rent.”

With no money left over for a lawyer to evict the tenants, Robb couldn’t keep up with both payments and the house was repossessed by the bank.

“I finished my tour of recruiting and we returned to Jacksonville. During the next year the bank continued with their collection efforts until we finally reached an agreement whereby the bank would settle for lesser amount,” he said.

“We paid the agreed upon amount, my credit was somewhat saved, but my wife and I separated shortly thereafter. “

In the end, Robb — now 49 and back living in Oklahoma — said he wished he would have listened to his gut and not bought the house despite his first wife’s pleas.

“In my situation I had the facts, pros, cons, and pitfalls. I knew what I was getting into and walked into with my eyes wide open,” he said.” I just didn’t listen to my instincts and instead followed my heart. Trust your instincts!”

Wretched refinancing

Hilary Gerber, 44, thought she and her then-husband were making the right choice when they agreed to let her mother invest in a home for them in Sunrise, Florida.

“She put down a substantial down payment, and considered to be a retirement investment that could be returned to her when we sold the house eventually,” Gerber said. “This was right before the real estate bubble burst, and real estate seemed like a great investment.”

But when Gerber became pregnant, her husband began itching to buy a minivan for their expanding family.

“He was feeling quite paternal,” she explained. “So, we borrowed against the new house and refinanced the loan immediately, at the advice of our quite unscrupulous mortgage brokers, because it literally shot up $70,000 in value just in the month or so it took to close.”

“We refinanced and bought him his brand new minivan that we could not afford,” she said. “Of course, the real estate market crashed immediately after, and the house was worth half of what we paid for it.”

A few years later, her marriage ended and she had to unload the home in a short sale.

“My mom got the minivan as a consolation prize, but it was much less than her down payment,” Gerber said.

The dog from heck!

Jennifer McDermott’s cautionary tale came with four legs and a tail. She and her boyfriend had been together for two years when they decided to get a dog together.

“I was unprepared for the financial impact of dog ownership,” said McDermott, a 34-year-old communications manager living in New York City. “Our beautiful puppy was unfortunately plagued with a number of ailments from sensitive skin to a tendency to swallow everything and anything which has led to three surgeries.”

As the couple forked over thousands in vet visits, medical treatment, monthly pet insurance premiums and all the other dog necessities, such as food, boarding and toys, McDermott was relieved she had a partner to split the cost with her.

When the couple broke up five years later, they made the decision that McDermott would keep the dog.

“My ex was gracious enough to offer to continue to make contributions but I declined and took the responsibility on myself,” she said.

But the cost of solo pet ownership quickly became daunting.

“I made some changes. I shopped around for pet insurance and switched providers to one that would give me a better deal,” she said. “ I also started cooking his meals myself which was cheaper and healthier for him which in turn reduced the number of vet visits. When I had to travel, I asked friends or family to mind him and would treat them to a bottle of wine instead of paying expensive boarding fees.”

Even though it didn’t work out with her ex, McDermott is thrilled to have her dog’s companionship.

“The return on investment I get from him is priceless,” she said.

A chance for a happy ending?

The key to a solid financial footing in a relationship is to carefully consider all the options and all the possibilities before plunging into a commitment that could cost you down the road.

Honest conversation now could protect your relationship, your wallet, and your credit score in the future.

The post Love and Money Nightmares: It Happened to Them appeared first on Stash Learn.

A 2017 TD Bank Love & Money Survey found that 36% of couples argue about money monthly, while 13% had kept a financial secret from their partner. That doesn’t sound like relationship bliss.

To avoid that fate, you have to be ruthlessly honest with you’re your partner.

Knowing a person’s way of looking at money can help tell you whether your long-term goals are compatible. If one of you spends whatever they earn—or more—while the other is planning on early retirement, you may have a problem.

When to have the money talk

Don’t worry, this conversation doesn’t necessarily have to happen on your first date.

According to dating empowerment coach Erin Tillman, you can hold off on money talk while in the “getting to know you” phase. But when you start having talks about the future and settling down together, “that’s when you should start having honest conversations about finances.”

Don’t assume that because they’ve been paying for your dinner dates, they’ll be as responsible with paying the mortgage on time.

“Even if there is an agreement regarding who pays for what bill, it’s important to know that each person is able to cover the cost of the bill (or portion of the bill) they are agreeing to pay,” Tillman says.

Get real, be honest

Tillman advises that you to approach the subject of money with sensitivity. “Money is a touchy subject for a lot of people,” she says.

Her advice is to approach the subject in a practical, not antagonistic,way.

Diana Mandel, a dating and relationship coach, recommends sitting down with your partner and detailing how much you each earn, how much you have invested, and your overall money habits and philosophy.

Be honest about whether you’re a saver or spender. Now is not the time to sugarcoat the fact that you spend $100/week on after-work cocktails with friends.

The important thing is to be upfront about your finances so that there’s no horrified moment when one of you sees the other’s credit card balance.

Be honest about whether you’re a saver or spender.

“It’s important to remember that even though the conversation may be difficult, don’t allow that to become a reason to avoid that talk,” says Mandell. “Be as transparent, communicative and understanding of each other as possible.”

Break it down

Tillman recommends being straightforward in your discussion. Rather than rely on emotion, crunch the numbers. Break down what bills you’ll need to pay—such as the security deposit and rent on a shared apartment.

Make a list of all the bills you’ll have to pay together. Then Tillman recommends asking each other how you’ll make sure each is paid so you both feel respected. You may split everything down the middle, or base each person’s share on what they earn.

“The best solution is one in which each partner feels respected emotionally and financially based on their ability and willingness to contribute,” advises Tillman.

Since the details may get foggy as the months pass, you may want to write down what you discussed as a reference point.

Red flags

As you approach the subject of money, there are some red flags you may want to consider.

According to Tillman, someone who gets angry when you bring up budgeting or concern that they may be living beyond their means may have an issue that they’ll bring into the relationship.

The same goes for a partner who belittles you because of the money you make or judges you if make less money.

If you’re working towards becoming true partners, you have to respect each other’s life choices. It’s one thing to encourage someone to apply for a more prestigious job, but another to shame them for choosing a lower-paying industry.

This doesn’t necessarily mean you should break up with someone exhibiting these behaviors, but they should be discussed and dealt with prior to moving forward in your relationship.

Meeting as a couple with a financial therapist could help you sort through your differing views on money with the help of a neutral third party.

Also something to note. It makes sense for some people to become defensive about their financial situations, especially if they have student debt or student loans. But if that person continues to be cagey or angry when you bring up the subject of money, it’s a definite red flag.

The sum total

While you can get a sense of your partner’s approach to money by observing them, you won’t know the vital details until you actually discuss them. Remember that the initial conversation is a starting point, likely one of hundreds of such discussions you’ll have if you stay together.

The post When Should Couples Have the “Money Talk?” appeared first on Stash Learn.

As you move from singledom to couplehood, it’s a natural progression to merge your bank accounts.

It’s an option that’s becoming increasingly popular, with half of millennials sharing their accounts before marriage—but it’s not a decision to take lightly.

Your bank account reflects your cash flow and the money you’ve accumulated over your lifetime and your financial goals, so it’s important to pay careful attention to how you manage it.

By pooling your money, you’re showing you trust your partner, and are ready to think of your income and savings as a combined resource, rather than an individual one.

We asked Los Angeles-based financial advisor Michele Steinberg, who’s spent 16 years in the industry advising couples on their financial options, to break down the pros and cons.

Pros

Efficiency

Steinberg recommends having only one bank account per couple, and believes the ideal time to start sharing an account is when the couple is getting married or making a life commitment.

Nine times out of 10, there’s one person in the couple way more interested in finances. When you merge bank accounts, that makes the job of tracking income and spending less complicated for that person, Steinberg says.

Because there’s someone diligently going over the books, Steinberg says that bills could get paid more frequently when couples have joint accounts. You’re also saving time by only dealing with one bank and one monthly statement.

Enforced communication

When you have separate accounts, it’s easy to hide an extravagant or even embarrassing splurge (midnight online shopping, perhaps?). But when you share one account, the other person is guaranteed to spot the $300 headphones you thought you could hide.

These are issues you have to discuss openly, which could help bring you closer together.

“To avoid resentment, there needs to be a lot of communication about your budget,” Steinberg explains.

Setting a budget can be a joint process, even if one person is primarily in charge of paying bills. After the budget is set, you should meet at least every six months to go over your finances, ideally before paying taxes and before holiday spending.

Steinberg’s theory is actually supported by other personal finance experts. Dave Ramsey, the money management and talk show host, actually condemns separate checking accounts in marriage as a “danger sign.” He told a listener that it “forces you to cooperate.” Ramsey warned that if one person is pushing to keep your accounts separate, that shows they’re either preparing to leave or not truly committed to your partnership.

To retain some privacy and financial autonomy, you can begin each month by each withdrawing a small, set amount in cash. That money is yours to spend as you wish, no questions asked. This way both parties know how much was withdrawn, but don’t have to know the details of how it’s spent.

Joint Goals Are Easier to Reach

When you’ve got just one person balancing the books, you can focus on larger joint goals, such as buying property or adding to your retirement fund. For instance, if your checking account has a minimum balance, pooling your resources makes it more likely that you’ll meet that minimum.

You can mutually agree on what goals you have for your money, and appoint one person to guide your combined savings toward those goals.

Cons

Risk

After you’ve combined accounts, there’s always the risk that one partner will be irresponsible with his or her money. Because of this, Steinberg cautions that you should know what your other half’s spending and savings habits are before merging accounts.

That said, even though the more financially-oriented person may be overseeing the account, that doesn’t mean the other person should abdicate all responsibility. Communication is paramount—and it may not always be pretty. If you overdraw the account or make another type of mistake, you have to fess up.

Other financial experts have a more negative view, warning of pitfalls of joint checking accounts, such as risk of debt collection if one partner owes money. This is another reason why regular communication and openly sharing your financial issues with your significant other is so essential, especially if you share an account. If one of you is having a problem with money, you can tackle it together.

You May Pay More

The point of joining bank accounts isn’t just simplicity; it’s also to help you further your mutual life goals. If one of you has debt or a bad credit score, the other can use some of their income to assist you in improving the situation.

The point of joining bank accounts isn’t just simplicity; it’s also to help you further your mutual life goals.

This will help you both down the road to buy property or make other investments. This saves money by not having to pay interest, but the downside is, the more financially stable partner may have to fork over more to help get the other one on the right track.

If you’re living in one of the nine community property states, getting married means you legally take on your partner’s debt, so it’s in both of your best interest to pay it off.

Other options

Another course of action Steinberg says some couples follow is retaining separate bank accounts, but creating a joint spending account to pay mutual expenses. In that case, she recommends that rather than split everything down the middle, the more equitable way to divvy up costs is based on a percentage of each person’s income.

This way, if one person makes $100,000 a year and the other makes $40,000, the person with the lower salary would cover an agreed upon percentage of bills such as 30%, while the other pays 70%. You can choose percentages that you agree are a fair reflection of the disparity in your incomes. Should those incomes change, you can later readjust the percentages to reflect those changes.

However, Steinberg cautions that when you have separate accounts, bills may get lost in the shuffle, since there’s more paperwork to keep track of. Rather than one person controlling the bills, you’ll have to divvy up the responsibility for them.

Things may slip through the cracks that could come back to haunt you. That $40 medical bill you thought you paid but didn’t could wind up in collections. If you do have separate accounts, your roles need to be clearly delineated regarding who’s in charge of which joint expenses. You might want to keep a joint spreadsheet listing when each bill is due and marking off the date it’s paid and person who paid it

If you decide later to separate from your partner, or decide a joint account isn’t for you, it’s generally not too complicated to go back to individual accounts.

Things to talk about

You should continue to retain your own credit card, since that’s tied to your individual credit score. Closing a credit card in order to apply for a new one could negatively affect your credit score. Plus the risks if one person mismanages the joint card could have long-lasting impact.

You should also continue to invest in your personal retirement account, because that’s tied to your Social Security number and cannot be combined until it’s taken out.

If you feel it’s still too early to merge accounts, you can always do so down the road.

While Steinberg recommends you start early, some couples wait a few years and ease into the process. That’s acceptable, as long as you increase your communication around finances.

A 2018 poll found that 23% of respondents have kept bank accounts hidden from their partners. While you may not discuss every major purchase early on, you don’t want to plan a life with someone who’s keeping major money secrets from you.

If you’re ready to get serious about your relationship, merging bank accounts can actually help by forcing you to get truly honest with each other about finances.

It will likely also make you a little more responsible with your money because you know you’ll be held accountable by your partner.

The post Merging Bank Accounts as a Couple: Should You Do It? appeared first on Stash Learn.

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Not talking about money can turn even the best relationship into a bad romance.

It’s a tough conversation to have. But think about it–money touches every part of our lives, including our love lives. The rent, bills, vacations, unequal salaries, cosigning loans, different career goals, these can all factor in big tensions.

When there’s the d-word. Debt. How can you touch on this topic without endangering feelings or bringing up feeling of shame?

Money is a part of trust in a relationship. If you can tackle your finances as a team, you can tackle anything.

Finance blogger Sarah Li Cain shares her story of romantic financial disaster and everything she learned about the all-too important relationship between love and money.

Got a question you’d like us to answer on the show? Drop us a line at teachmehowtomoney@stash.com. We’ll do our best to get to all of them.

Ready to start investing? Sign up for Stash and then enter the promo code PODCAST and you’ll get $5 to get started on your financial journey.

The post Podcast: How to Talk Finances With Your Partner with Sarah Li Cain appeared first on Stash Learn.

Valentine’s Day, as an annual romantic celebration, was invented by Hallmark about a hundred years ago to sell greeting cards. Since then, it’s expanded into a $20 billion industry. That’s how much people spend on Valentine’s every year, according to the National Retail Federation.

We break down Love Inc., by the numbers.

Gold

Gold, the key ingredient in wedding bands, has been in use since ancient times, as jewelry and also as money, because everybody recognized the value of the glinting, yellow metal. It has industrial uses as well, that have nothing to do with ornamentation. Your cell phone contains bits of gold. It’s also in cars, circuit boards, dental fillings and NASA space equipment.

All the gold in the world totals about 170,000 metric tons, if it were all gathered together in one place. If all the world’s gold were melted into a cube, that cube of solid gold would measure 20.7 feet to the side.

Americans eat $18 billion worth of chocolate per year, which amounts to 18 percent of the world supply.

So how much is gold worth? We normally weigh it in ounces, not tons, and it’s currently trading at about $1,300 an ounce. Gold is volatile, and it increased increasing 12% in December and January, before dropping to its current level, as the stock market roiled through its extreme sell-offs since last week, including the Dow’s biggest single-day point drop ever (down 1,175) on Monday.

With gold priced at about $1,300 an ounce, now might not be a bad time to buy a wedding band. Yet,  the price of gold has gone way down since hitting its peak in 2011 of $1,889.70 an ounce.

Fortunately most wedding bands weigh no more than 0.35 ounces. That little band around your finger doesn’t amount to much weight. But here we are, paying $300 to $3,000 for a wedding ring. Why? Because it’s “platinum”? No. It’s because of the sentiment.

But that pales compared to engagement rings, which can cost more than $6,000, on average. Remember, there’s no rule that says you have to spend that much. Or even that a ring must have a diamond at all.

Chocolate

Americans love chocolate. Those $5 heart-shaped Russell Stovers at Walgreens and those $125 gilded boxes of Godivas really add up to billions and billions of dollars of consumer spending.

Americans eat $18 billion worth of chocolate per year, which amounts to 18 percent of the world supply.

Valentine’s Day spending gets a big piece of that. We’re expected to spend about $1.8 billion on candy on February 14. And that includes a lot of chocolate hearts with gooey centers.

Where does all this chocolate come from? Big Chocolate is dominated by Nestle, a Swiss conglomerate, and Hershey and Mars Inc., and also Ferrero, the maker of Nutella.

One of the biggest business stories of the year so far is when Nestle sold $3 billion worth of candy brands, including Butterfinger and Babe Ruth to Ferrero. Chocolate is big business.

Weddings

Weddings are a $76 billion industry. There are more than 300,000 wedding-related businesses employing 1.2 million people and the industry is growing 2.8% every year.

How much does the average wedding cost? About $35,000, according to recent survey from The Knot, a site devoted to the wedding industry.

The venue where the wedding actually takes place gets the lion’s share of the take, about $16,000, followed by the band, who typically earn about  $4,000. Overall wedding prices vary widely depending on the location, with Manhattan being the most expensive, at $78,000. For those on a budget, Arkansas is the cheapest, but even in Little Rock the typical wedding costs $19,000.

That doesn’t even count the cost of the honeymoon.

The average cost of a honeymoon is harder to nail down, because it depends on the destination. A 2015 report from WeddingWire, a company that works in the wedding retail industry, puts the average honeymoon cost at about $3,882.

One classic honeymoon is the ocean cruise, and cruises are a big business, creating a $117 billion industry annually, according to the Cruise Lines International Association. How much does a cruise cost? A website for cruise line might list packages starts at $1,000 for two, but the travel guide Frommer’s says the average is closer to $4,000.

Remember: Food is included, but many times, the drinks are not

Starter homes

The term “starter home” seems to suggest something cheap purchased by newlyweds, in the hope that it will appreciate in value and they’ll someday sell up to something bigger. The median price of a home sold in the U.S. in December 2017 was $335,400, according to the U.S. Census. So a starter home is likely to  be cheaper than that, on average.

Hundreds of thousands of people are buying these lower-cost homes. In tracking real estate deals by price, the Census Bureau says that 18,000 units sold for less than $150,000 in 2017. Another 62,000 houses sold for between $150,000 to $199,999, and 187,000 abodes sold for between $200,000 and $299,999.

Beyond that, as the price of houses get more expensive, the number of buyers drops.

Who says you can’t put a price on love?

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